The Pastor's Study -- Five Things I Hate About Parish Ministry
Let’s be honest, as much as we love our jobs and as deeply as we feel called, we all have pet peeves in regards to our ministries. They usually aren’t big things, for if they were we probably would give up and start working at McDonalds (something that is probably in the long run a more effective missional strategy!). But they continue to be an irritating presence in our lives, something that we wish we could change with a snap of the fingers.
So, without any further adieu, here my non-exhaustive list of this week:
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1 | Air Conditioning Issues…. One of the things that they fail to mention in seminary is that most local pastors end up within a few weeks becoming experts in HVAC systems. Beyond dealing with the technicians who come on a regular basis, folks in the church are never hesitant to express their opinion that the church is too cold or too hot (and it is almost never “just right”). This morning when I got to the church I found our sanctuary at 63 degrees. Why? Because someone got too hot at an event of Friday and left units running full blast and the thermostats on 61 degrees. Yes, we could take the rigid route and put locking covers on the thermostats but they rarely work and the wrong people always have keys to them, so instead I will keep checking the thermostats regularly. |
2 | People who complain that we don’t offer enough programming and then never show up for what we do offer…. |
3 | Knowing that there is never enough time to do all that I should be doing…. Have you read the job description for and elder in the Book of Discipline? The list of tasks and expectations goes on for pages, and it fails to include all the other administrative stuff that is part of ordering the church. Most of us tend to be pulled in so many directions that we function as jacks of all trades and masters of none. So, I find myself trying to decide which is more important: visiting a person in the nursing home that I haven’t seen in far too long (a person that the congregation expects me to keep in touch with) or writing a curriculum for a new discipleship series that we will be offering. Should I work on the sermon the ten hours a week that the experts suggest, or should I take that time to meet with community leaders so that our congregation will be more visible in our area. There are always too few hours and too many tasks, and the frustration level of that reality sometimes makes me want to bang my head against the wall. |
4 | The tradition that seems to think that weddings are more important than baptisms…. Have you ever compared the resources expended in your church on a wedding versus that expended on a baptism? Weddings are seen as high and holy events, and I suppose they are in many ways. However baptism is our initiation into the church and a special dispensation of the Spirit of God on our lives. Yet, baptisms are often inserted into worship services as an afterthought while weddings are given hours of preparation and lots of resources. Even worse, the cultural baggage of most weddings places the focus in the wrong thing – the couple being married – rather than the place of God in their lives and family. I will feel like I have succeeded in ministry when we get to the place in our church where we spend and much energy and resource on welcoming and new brother and sister into the Body of Christ in baptism as we do in getting folks hitched. |
5 | Religious Telemarketers…. Hardly a day goes by without the phone ringing with some overly cheerful person on the other end of the line wanting to speak with the pastor about how they can help me in my ministry. “We have this great teaching resource,” the person tells me, “and we want to send it to you to review for free . . . that is as long as you return it to us in 30 days . . . otherwise we’re going to bill you $200 for it.” Of course it sounds good in theory, but the thing will come and sit in the secretary’s office for two months until we finally realize what it is and send it back, usually without reviewing it. Do you really want to be helpful to me religious publishers and sales folks? Then why don’t you go to the pharmaceutical model and send a sales person by with free samples and the chance to look over the products (schedule an appointment first!). Even better, if you really want to help, don’t call. We get too many calls as it is, and I simply don’t have the time to waste trying to convince you that I really don’t need the product (see #3 above). Even worse, you cause my secretary to sin every time she has to tell you that I’m not available even though I am in my office playing Freecell . . . uh . . . praying. Don’t be an occasion for sin, so simply don’t call and we’ll all be much holier. |
So, what are the things that you hate in your task of parish ministry? Let us know your top five list in the comments below.
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Further thoughts
Folks who expect me to magically divine that they are in the hospital.
Bearing the burdens of past pastors' mistakes.
Sibling rivalry between the churches in multi-point charges.
People apologizing to me when they curse.
When people won't have a beer (or even admit they drink it) because the pastor's around.
The expectation that my Bible study is more important than your kids' activities.
A few more
First, let me ask "how you doing?"
Don't think I have five, but a couple additions:
1. The belief you have instant access to a conscripted labor force (ala: "Can't you get a few people to set up chairs for this afternoon's senior lunch?")
2. The fact that even when you're doing well, you could be doing more. (Ironically, I actually love this aspect, too.)
My top 5:
2. That your high points of ministry always seem to crash down the next week.
3. No one ever asks you "How you doing?" and means it.
4. There is never a time of dedicated rest if you are in ministry.
5. Not ever mess in the history of the world was created by the youth group. (Everyone knows the Scouts did it.)